I'm not like this all the time.

Today I have been angry.

Maybe because Halloween is not that big here, which made me miss home. Maybe because the sun wasn't shining, and the sky was dark and gray. Maybe my blood sugar was too low. I'm sure it was a combination of multiple factors, but the bottom line is that I was in a bad mood. I managed to find something wrong with everything that crossed my path today.

The metro was especially infuriating.
On my way to class I somehow ended up behind the slowest people ever. Three middle aged couples, holding hands and walking as slow as humanly possible in the middle of the walkway, disabling anyone, notably me, from passing. I felt like yelling out, "Can we walk a little bit faster here! Seriously people, you are in love, okay great. But you are not walking down the aisle, so pick up the pace!!!" Some of us have places to go. And they would not be extent of the slow moving people in my way today.

Later at another metro station, I saw 5-6 police officers questioning a man (which to me looked more like harassing). They made him empty the contents of his pockets onto the ground and from the look on his face it seemed like he had dealt with this treatment before. His wife stood near by waiting with a baby. It infuriated me! Particularly when I walked back by the spot where they were, maybe 5 minutes later, they had him against the wall with his pants pulled down. Seriously, his seafoam green brief underwear exposed for the passing world to view! That is just not right. I don't know what offense he committed and I won't claim to understand race relations in the legal system here, but that did not quell my rage.

On my ride home, I was wondering why do people feel the need to be so close to me. Why do they have to stand on top of me, trying to hold my hand on the pole. I need some space to breath. Back up! I decided that people must try to bump into me on purpose. This can be the only explanation, because the calculated probability that 82% of people that walk by me would bump into me accidentally is astronomical. And why was everyone shopping today? Don't people have jobs or at least something else to do!

Nothing fit right today. The waist in my jeans seemed looser than normal and as a result my pants were falling off my ass all day. In stores, clothing that looked great on display, took on a hideous appearance when paired with my body. A gorgeous navy blue coat made me look too much like a doll. And a simple black sweater screamed out that I was insecure and wearing a sweater that my grandmother had given me. (Thanks to Carin and Nisreen for the insight.)

The ATM refused to give me the amount of money I was requesting. I already explained to Wells Fargo that I am living here and to please stop denying my charges suspecting that they are fraudulent. Give me my money!

Even trivial things annoyed the hell out of me today. Like the water in my toilet bowl being blue preventing me from gauging how hydrated I am by the color of the water. Or the stupid mistake that I made on my test that brought my score down to 19.5 instead of 20. I couldn't find my nail clipper. I tried 3 different ways (the start menu, the shortcut on the desktop, the little icon in the toolbar) multiple times each to open iTunes on my computer this morning. None of which worked and I had to restart my computer. Everything frustrated me. I had no patience.

I returned home earlier than usual, looking forward to salvaging my day with a persimmon. (Oh the goodness that is a persimmon.) Only to remove the fruit from my bag and see that it had been squished by everyone bumping into me all day. Aaaarrrgh!!!!!!!!

Maybe everything really was going wrong for me today. Or maybe I'm becoming jaded in this city, where the concept of forming an orderly line is foreign, a person who smiles too much is considered naive, and even the traffic signals have attitude.