better than a stick in the eye

I have renewed my distaste for coughing, which has been my longstanding #1 most-hated bodily function. That is until my trip to India this summer, where it was downgraded to the #2 position, for reasons I am certain you have no desire to imagine. Anyway, coughing is back in the #1 spot, because it really is the worst.

That overwhelming urge to cough takes hold of my throat and it does not matter how hard I try, because I cannot control it and I feel helpless. I am never able to estimate whether it will result in a single cough or the dreaded coughing fit. Continually coughing makes my throat feel very dry and sore, which results in more coughing and increased pain. Still I have no choice except to cough until my body has had enough.

Coughing is so disruptive and it always commences at the wrong moments (although there really are no right moments, maybe just less wrong) –
during exams in an otherwise quiet room,
dinner conversations (where I was forced to excuse myself yesterday multiple times),
and peaceful sleep (thankfully, that was not the case last night since before bed I drank herbal tea with honey and un peu de rhum, which put me right to sleep).

Especially loathed is the dry cough, because it seems entirely useless. (I accept that it is removing irritants from my air passages, but that does not lend it more credence in my book.) At least with a productive cough, I feel like my body is expelling phlegm and helping me regain health. But that stupid barking cough carries the sound of extreme sickness. You know that you make a special effort to avoid people who sound like they are hacking up a lung. I know I do.

Coughing spreads a lot of germs. To minimize this I cough into the crevice of my elbow, which is still sort of coughing into the air. But it is better than coughing into your hands or even worse into the free air. Still I hate feeling like I am contaminating everything that I come in contact with.

So yes, I would rather be afflicted with a runny nose, headache, or even (gasp) loose motions. I hate coughing that much.
Thank goodness for cough suppressants.