What the _uck is that?

Okay so maybe I feel a bit obligated to provide some sort of explanation so that people don't dismiss me as a complete whack job (or maybe in attempt to justify my derangement idiosyncrasies to myself). It is all too apparent that I am ceaselessly amused by most derivatives of names for excretory matter. Like poop, poo poo, poopie, dookie, doodie, and of course my all time favorite DOO DOOOOOOOOO!!! (which must be spoken with the proper intonation, mind you) No it's not normal. I realize this, but let me explain my theory of why this may be. During my childhood, I never used these words, because I was taught to say BM.
I need to BM.
Where is the BM?
Did you BM today? Yes, this morning.
Ummm, yeah...kind of lacking in excitement there.
At some point there came a realization that other kids were not using this expression. And along with it came the discovery of this vast collection of alternative words.
Why does saying these words, or better yet hearing someone else use them, tickle me so? Why does my brother insist on nicknaming me with the word poop, from just plain poop, to poop diddy, to the specially reserved P – double O – P diddy?
Believe me when I tell you, it's not our fault, we just can't help it! (Well, admittedly the whole P. Diddy obsession is some kind of personal problem of his.) Blame the parents.

It's raining.

I forgot my umbrella at home today. So it rained on my head all day as I traversed through the city. It sucked. But thankfully I am not (yet) sick as a result.
This whole month has been gray and rainy. I don't hate the rain, in fact I find it rather calming and cozy (while indoors). However I prefer consistent changes in the weather. Because I get through the rainy weekdays knowing that the sun always spends its weekends in Paris. This evening I checked the forecast and much to my disappointment, that will not be the case this weekend. I suppose I will have to make do with indoor activities.

Last weekend was especially beautiful and on Sunday I went for a ride on a bateau-mouche along the Seine. Blending in with the other tourists, I held the metal speaker to my ear listening to the historical explanations of le Louvre, les Invalides, and various other points of interest. Afterwards, I walked along the Seine soaking up the sun.

Oh yeah, for Thanksgiving, Madame and I went to a restaurant for Indian food. Oddly, that seemed a bit normal (although not much like Thanksgiving). I had chicken tikka masala (admittedly a non-South Indian dish) and a sweet lassi. Rice-based cuisines always bring me comfort. Although I am still waiting for that sweet potato pie (ahem, Jade!). And I am really missing the frantic shopping the day after Thanksgiving. Ah well...

Your Royal Highness will suffice

Yesterday morning while waiting for class to start, the English girl in my class tells me:
I had a dream about you last night.
Moi: Really? What happened?
Elle: You were the queen, like the queen of everything in the world.
Moi: Oh wow.
Elle: Yeah except you were a wretched, awful queen. You treated all of the people badly and punished everyone.
Moi: Oh no! That is so terrible.
Elle: Yeah, it was strange. Because I was thinking she is nothing like that.

And right she is, I would treat my subjects with nothing but kindness.

how to get a boy to like you

...in 2 easy steps
1. Find someone to tell the boy that you like him.
2. Do nothing and watch as he begins to like you.

Not that I have ever done this, it's just that it always seems to work on me.
Really though, is it just me or has this happened to anyone else? Your friend tells you that a friend of hers that you have recently met likes you. Yeah girl, my friend really likes you. He is a really sweet guy. You did not find this friend unusually appealing. Not that you think anything is wrong with him, you just didn't think anything of him. Your feelings were neutral. But after she tells you that he likes you, that starts to marinate in your mind and you find yourself thinking hmm... he likes me, okay. Well maybe I could like him too. She said he was really sweet. He did seem really nice and he likes me. As if the fact that he likes you must mean that something about him is great. He has excellent taste, so that's a good start. Here's where that crazy planning commences. He can take me out and we can do xyz. Yes that will work, and then... But then you actually see him and he doesn't overtly act as if he likes you. So you are wondering, wait a minute, I thought he liked me, what happened? He is supposed to like me! And perhaps by now you maybe sort of like him a little bit (it doesn't matter that this is only the second time that you have seen him because you have your mental image of him... and the 2 kids and the yearly vacations to the Seychelles, no wait! just kidding!)
Anyway maybe this only happens to super indecisive people with overly active imaginations. But I'm sure I can't be the only one.

a day filled with gifts

I am finally in possession of the ever elusive carte de sejour. Yea! It only took 4 visits to the office at Cité Universitaire, tons of paperwork (which never seemed to be completed just right, hence the need for 4 separate trips), and a 1.5 months wait for a medical exam. The exam consisted of me following orders that were being yelled in my direction (in a very non-sterile environment). Standing on a scale. Covering one eye at a time and reading letters from far away and words from close up to test vision. Stripping naked from the waist up to have a chest x-ray. (By the way, I am now the proud owner of said x-ray, which I'm told will come in handy...) Inhaling and exhaling. Answering medical history questions. Forty minutes, a few tears, and 55 euros later the card was officially mine.

Tonight I went to the Daniel Swarovski Autumn/Winter collection Poetic Night show. The collection was gorgeous. The decor was beautifully done. Everything was very sparkly, notably the champagne (which may be why this post is a bit rambly and full of adjectives/adverbs with -ly endings). Best of all, I received a bag of take-home goodies! Yeeeessss!

and more gifts

A pair of healthy non-smoking lungs.

These pictures definitely do not do the show much justice. Sorry. The lighting was dim and I'm not much of a photographer.

Or videographer, it seems.

..yawn..

My weekend was maybe a bit less than exciting. Or if you prefer rather serene. Although some would flat out call it boring.

I had plans to go to Fountainebleu on Saturday, but unfortunately the weather prevented that trip. So I went to the movies instead and saw Prête-moi ta main, which was very funny, and it convinced me that I need to learn all the bad words (not to say them of course (so don't add me to the prayer list just yet...or at least not for this), but to be able to recognize them.) I returned home, ate dinner, and then watched OSS 117 (parody of James Bond, with a stereotypic french guy; also funny).

Today began with a late brunch*, followed by an old ass season 4 episode of ANTM and some studying. Fill in the blanks with some other activities equal in liveliness...

Other unrelated life news: Lately I find myself addicted to yogurt. I can't get enough. Greek yogurt with honey. Creamy yogurt with crème de marrons. Yogurt flavored with fruit. Between yesterday and today, I have consumed 5 containers of yogurt (not those little yoplait types either). I must have the healthiest vagina this side of the Mississippi Seine. Fact.

* Some may argue that a late brunch is nothing more than lunch. But I conserve the title brunch since it consisted of breakfast-type foods and it was the first meal of the day served in that I just woke up atmosphere.

where my heart used to be

I guess that I never got over it the way that I thought, since it is bothering me again. This calls for reflection (not to be mistaken for obsessive over-analyzation.)

A long time ago, he called me heartless. Heartless.

Defined as: unfeeling; devoid of compassion or feeling; unkind; unsympathetic; harsh; cruel; pitiless.

(To be fair, he called me a lot of other things, but this particular word has stuck with me for whatever reason. That reason might be because maybe some part of me fears that he may have been right.)

Heartless?!? Me?! Seriously though, heartless?

But he's not the only one that has felt this way. I have been told that I can be standoffish. At times distant. Sometimes those who should, do not feel close to me. Is it just part of my character? Am I a private person? Or is that an excuse offered to avoid change?

None of the above.
I don't want to be a cold person. I am not heartless. And I definitely don't go out of my way to be mean to people. I care about the people in my life deeply. So what's going wrong? Apparently the problem must be that I don't show it in a way that is received well. I need to do something about that. Which means I have to make an effort to express my feelings and affection. Because I want my loved ones to know how much I care about and appreciate them. I need them to not only know it, but be able to feel it. This has really been tormenting me lately. (It's probably not helping that I keep listening to Ice Box by Omarion and wondering if that is how I am. Although that is not the same situation really. So I can safely assume no.)

Not to imply that I am in any way evil or that I would like to turn into a boy, but writing this made me think about the Care Bears movie. Remember at the end, when Dark Heart turns into a boy and changes from evil to good and he starts turning cartwheels?

Bottom line: Please be patient with me. I'm working on it. Why? Because really...I care! I care! I care!

I like pretty sparkly things.

Diamonds.
Jewelry.
White teeth.
Lip gloss.
Christmas lights.

I spent the afternoon browsing through the many floors of le Printemps. I love Christmas time! There is something inexplicably comforting about cold weather and winter time in general. Although I love the energy of summer and all that comes with it and I dread having to trade the light casualness of summer and fall wear for the bulk of layered outfits and dry skin. Until winter time actually descends, I never remember how much I love it.

In other news, I must be shedding my signature clueless look for something more cosmopolitan, because people are always asking me for directions. And today, I actually had an answer (apart from Je ne sais pas. Desolée.). Say what?! You know what that means! There is hope for my sense of direction yet.

out of fear of sounding too emo

I will keep this to a minimum.

This past week has been draining. I'm not even sure why.
I suppose I let my anxiety get the best of me.
But tomorrow is the start of a new week.