Beggars can't be choosers.

lui: I miss you.
moi: Why do you miss me?
lui: I've gotten used to you.
moi: Oh.

Wait, when did I become a beggar?!?

What is the meaning of this?

moi: I'm really sorry! I am easily distracted.
lui: By what?
moi: Anything.

In this case, life and uh yeah, the internet, oooh Yahoo Answers...

I know that I am slacking here. I should be writing an update. But I'm not.
But I will.
OMG, this is soooo funny!!! 100% of the time you're on the stupid!

question of the week

elle: You are American, right?
moi: Yeah.
elle: Well, why is your name Leela?

Your Royal Highness will suffice

Yesterday morning while waiting for class to start, the English girl in my class tells me:
I had a dream about you last night.
Moi: Really? What happened?
Elle: You were the queen, like the queen of everything in the world.
Moi: Oh wow.
Elle: Yeah except you were a wretched, awful queen. You treated all of the people badly and punished everyone.
Moi: Oh no! That is so terrible.
Elle: Yeah, it was strange. Because I was thinking she is nothing like that.

And right she is, I would treat my subjects with nothing but kindness.

Americans have more fun! (an experiment)

Hypothesis: Drinking wine improves my French comprehension and expression.

Variables:
The amount of wine that I consume
The amount of wine that the others consume
The duration of time during which the wine is consumed
The effect that consuming the wine has on the accuracy of my perceptions

Methods and materials:
1. Attend a dinner party with:
3 boys whose uniting language is Japanese (Mr U, Mr K, and Mr 5)
3 girls whose uniting language is English (Mlle S, Mlle C, and moi)
2. Be served plenty of wine and food.
3. Record observations and conversations.

Results:
Moi: But I really am shy! (I insisted while starting my x glass of wine.)
Mlle C and Mr K: You are NOT shy! We do not believe you.
Mr K: Americans talk a lot.
Moi: We talk a lot because we like to have fun and we enjoy parties where everyone is laughing and having a good time (or at least I do).
I still stick with my assertion that I am shy. Really, I am! I'm not usually quiet once you get to know me, but initially I am shy. Definitely wasn't convincing anyone of that yesterday.

Moi: Don't laugh at my French!
Mlle C: He's not laughing at your French, he's laughing at you.
Moi: Oh! I see.
Mr K mocked both my French and English. Specifically my voice, which never ceased to amuse him. Apparently, making fun of me is an activity enjoyed by people of all cultures. Hmmph!

Mr K: I love MAC.
Mlle C and moi: I love MAC too!

Moi: I love Madonna.
Mlle C: Me too!
Moi: Do you like Madonna?
Mr K: I ADORE Madonna.
Who would've known that MAC and Madonna are capable of surpassing all language/cultural barriers? (Is it any coincidence that both are American? I think not. ;))

Wow, why is a random guy in the metro dominating the pic?

Conclusion: The more wine I consumed the better my French became. Mr K even noted that the more wine he consumed, the better he was able to understand my French. Point 1 for team Leela! (I think...) Mlle S served as a control since she doesn't drink alcohol. As a result, she remained confused during most of the conversations (including the English, so I'm not really sure what was going on with her). The results of this preliminary experiment are consistent with my hypothesis, however I cannot rule out the possibility that perhaps the variables skewed the results. Thus more experiments are necessary before I can confirm my hypothesis.

WTF: Leela ate sushi!? Yeeeaaah booooy! Vegetarian sushi!!

(no comment)

Lately I've been feeling like a complete waste of space.
But I guess things could be worse.

A sign that Colorado may want to make their GED requirements a bit more stringent:

{scene: chatting with an old friend on a warm summer evening, mid August, sitting outside my home in Grand Junction}

moi: Well, I will be leaving early next month for Paris.
old friend: Oh, cool. You know, I still haven't been on a plane yet.
moi (with a look of feigned disbelief): Really? Wow.
old friend: Yeah, but maybe I will come over to visit you in Spain.
moi: Ummm...right. (pause) Paris is in France.

conversations with Omar

Our siblings push buttons that cast us in roles we felt sure we had let go of long ago - the baby, the peacekeeper, the caretaker, the avoider.... It doesn't seem to matter how much time has elapsed or how far we've traveled.
~Jane Mersky Leder

My brother. Omar. Lil Omeo. My favorite person (although he has ensured me that the feeling is not mutual.)
I love his sense of humor and his dedication to success in every endeavor he pursues.
Although I fail to grasp his obsession with the c-walk, The Nutty Professor, and The Facebook.

*****

{scene: walking through Walmart in the hair product aisle (yes, I detest Walmart and avoid it all costs), shopping for last minute necessities the day before we left for India}

Omar: Hey, let's get some of that scurl.
me (perplexed look on face): Scurl?
Omar (pointing to a product on a nearby shelf): Yeah, scurl.
me: Umm. Yeah. That's "S" Curl.

*****

{Omar relayed this story to me one evening last week after arriving at home.}

Omar: This lady flipped me off today.
me: Why? What happened?
Omar: I was headed to the office to mail out a package. And I was in a hurry because UPS picks up at 5 PM on Friday. So I was switching from the left lane into the right lane. I turned on my blinker, but the lady wasn't letting me in, so I sped up and got in front of her. She laid on the horn and flipped me off.
me: That's rude.
Omar: I got so angry and I was going to follow her.
me: What?!
Omar: Well, I just wanted to follow her and make her think that I was going to kill her. I wanted to scare her. I would've done it if I had the time. But I was in a hurry.
me (shakes head in disgrace): Good to know that you have your priorities in order.




This clip proves what I've been saying all along. Ending an ongoing 7 year battle, from which I emerge victoriously. I told you that song was from the Care Bears! Do you like me? Do you love me? Same difference! You did not make it up. :)